Posted on Jul 6th, 2009
by
Laura
Paradoxical. Historically it's been a real challenge for me to live with another person, at least in the past five or so years. It seems to be part of my nature to need solitude almost fiercely at times. But of course solitude and independence are far from the same thing. I often worry that I need people much less than others seem to. This is not to say that I don't need them at all, that I don't value conversation and the intimacy of close friendship and the sharing of meals and fears and music and passions and basketball games and being in the breath of the world with others. I do, and sometimes it's revelatory to me how much. I couldn't be happy as a teacher without that tug, that capacity to enlarge my scope of self and consciousness. (Of course, teaching wears me out, too. Part of the deal. ) Still, this realization of my need for others seems to be a sort of temporary epiphany. I value the detachment of observation very much, but I often find myself planning how I will relate what I experience to my friends and family and other folks too. I suppose I always will come back to the circumstance of needing friends who will, as Nanci Griffith once said, "endure my solitude."
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Posted on Jul 15th, 2009
by
Laura
(Two poems by Denise Levertov)
The Secret
Two girls discover
the secret of life
in a sudden line of
poetry.
I who don't know the
secret wrote
the line. They
told me
(through a third person)
they had found it
but not what it was
not even
what line it was. No doubt
by now, more than a week
later, they have forgotten
the secret,
the line, the name of
the poem. I love them
for finding what
I can't find,
and for loving me
for the line I wrote,
and for forgetting it
so that
a thousand times, till death
finds them, they may
discover it again, in other
lines
in other
happenings. And for
wanting to know it,
for
assuming there is
such a secret, yes,
for that
most of all.
--Denise Levertov
Stepping Westward
What is green in me
darkens, muscadine.
If woman is inconstant,
good, I am faithful to
ebb and flow, I fall
in season and now
is a time of ripening.
If her part
is to be true,
a north star,
good, I hold steady
in the black sky
and vanish by day,
yet burn there
in blue or above
quilts of cloud.
There is no savor
more sweet, more salt
than to be glad to be
what, woman,
and who, myself,
I am, a shadow
that grows longer as the sun
moves, drawn out
on a thread of wonder.
If I bear burdens
they begin to be remembered
as gifts, goods, a basket
of bread that hurts
my shoulders but closes me
in fragrance. I can
eat as I go.
-Denise Levertov
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